Trauma.

"Doesn't matter how tough we are, trauma always leaves a scar. It follows us home, it changes our lives, trauma messes everybody up, but maybe that's the point. All the pain and the fear and the crap. Maybe going through all of that is what keeps us moving forward. It's what pushes us. Maybe we have to get a little messed up, before we can step up."
*Alex Karev, Grey's Anatomy Season 5

Trauma. It doesn't just happen in hospitals or war-torn countries. It happens everyday around us. It messes you up when it happens so close to you. Like how a friend of mine passed away around Christmas last year, or how a relative of mine just passed away and I attended the funeral earlier tonight.

Trauma happens around you all the time. And perhaps, the point that Alex Karev meant is that trauma wakes you up. It wakes you up and gives you more perspectives on your own life.

When my friend passed away last year, it freaked me out. He was just a year older than me, but in his passing, it gave me new perspectives on life. Life is more than just living, it's about living with no regrets. So whatever you do, do it and don't look back. Even if it's a mistake, no use looking back. Just learn from it, and move on.

Trauma pushes you forward. Why? Cos the main thing, is that you still have hope when others may not have the chance to. Hope. It's the one thing that pushes you forward. And as much as you can say that you don't believe in hope, you still hold on to that every inch of hope because it's the one thing keeps you going.

It's true, that we all have to get at least a little messed up before we can step up. It's only when we get into a mess of a situation that we can pull ourselves together and step out of it by stepping up. And I truly, totally understand as well as relate to what Alex said.

The most upsetting part of the episode was when Cristina left Owen. For real. And he hit rock bottom right then, because he lost the love of his life. And it was then, that he decided that he needed to do something to climb out of his rock bottom so that he can win her back.

It's exactly that. Getting into a mess and realising that you have to pull yourself back together to step out of it. And that's what you do. Because of the hope for the future. The hope for a better day. The hope that someday, one day, things will fall into place.

And that's the same hope I harbour... as much as I like to deny believing or holding on to this intangible thing called 'hope'. The hope that one day, my life will fall into place in every way, even if it's just for a day.

So there. *satisfied sighs* I just had to write that all to make myself feel better. And I think I do. Grey's Anatomy rocks. Seriously.